“We have three types of friends in life: friends for a reason, friends for a season and friends for a lifetime” (Quote taken from Pinterest)
The other day I posted about heading to new baby groups and a few tips for those people who were nervous or might lack self confidence like me. So today instead of posting about making new friends, I thought I’d post about old friends!!
As it says in the quote about there are three types of friends. New mummy friends might end up being lifetime friends but to begin with they are mainly friends for a reason, you need them to get through early motherhood, to discuss all those unknowns that crop up. But, in my opinion, it is so important not to forget those friends who have always been there!
I am very lucky to have lots of amazing close friends, some from school days, others I met at university and a few I’ve met since finishing uni through work. Imagine the difficulty we had when trying to choose Rory’s godparents, he ended up with three of each and could easily have had more!
Interestingly, very few of my closest friends have children (although one did give birth just last week and one is due in May), and in my largest group of friends from school days, I am the first to have a baby. Now I am not saying this has caused a problem they’ve all been absolutely amazing!! My lovely friend Katie did a blooming fantastic job of organising my baby shower with my mum, even getting in the amazing talent of Flossy Teacake for the day. Philippa put up with my very specific requirements and helped design Rory’s christening invite and thank you cards.
Friendship definitely changes when you have a baby but I really think the problem is more with me!! I can’t explain how guilty I feel when I have to regularly say no to invites; I hate not being able to attend events, birthday nights out, cinema trips, evening meals even though I know they 100% understand.
I was quite excited this weekend when I was going to get to see everyone for a few hours. Even better, an impromptu decision to do Sunday lunch meant I got to see them all twice and Rory even got to tag along for the lunch. We had a really chilled out catch up, Rory behaved brilliantly and I was gutted when it was time to head home! What is brilliant is that no matter how long it is since I’ve seen them it never feels like we’ve been apart and I always think they are the best kind of friendships.
So what I’m trying to say in a round about way is, yes it is important to make new mummy friends who understand what you are going through, but it is equally important to keep in touch with those old friends who have been through thick and thin with you! Whereas mummy friends might understand what you are going through now, your old friends know everything about you, what your life was like before your little one arrived, how you got to where you are today and how to cheer you up. You may not be able to attend every event and it may feel like a bit of a juggling act trying to keep up with friends whilst being their for your little one, but it’s worth it and most of them will completely understand.
Good friends who are there at a drop of a hat are worth their weight in gold!!
(I know the photo is shocking quality but it is one of my favourite photos with some of my lovely friends, from New Year 2015, when only Keith and I knew I was pregnant)