I discovered the amazing mummy community on Instagram when Rory was a few months old, and it genuinely has got me through some of the toughest moments of motherhood so far! I have ‘met’ some amazing mummies who have offered me advice, picked me up and made me feel better just by being there! For this, I love Instagram!
However it also has another side which isn’t quite so positive. The pressure to be perfect. Obviously everyone posts their best pictures on Instagram and it is all too easy to get the impression that everyone is living this perfect life. You feel like their babies are always smiling and stay happily posed, never cry, their houses are always perfectly clean and tidy and they are all hitting milestones weeks before your little one. It’s all too easy to get wrapped up in this little world of Instagram and start to feel inadequate as a Mum and it’s a genuinely horrible feeling.
I started Rory’s Instagram to share pictures of our day to day adventures, almost as a photo diary, however I found that I had actually began to only post pictures which I thought suited th ideal style of photo, where Rory looked perfect, those with immaculate backgrounds or that showed off a certain outfit. This definitely wasn’t the plan!! As a result I vowed to start sharing pictures of all our adventures out and about, even if there wasn’t so much as a glimpse of an Instagram item of clothing in the photo or if Rory was looking in the opposite direction to the way I wanted him to (which is a majority of the time to be honest)! Obviously there are still posed photos of gorgeous clothes and we still love promoting the brands we support, there’s even still the occasional flatlay! But I’ve become much less worried if I have a few days without a perfect photo, where he’s posed and smiling exactly as I wanted him to. I’ve also started to make sure that I remind myself that just like I choose my best pictures, so does everyone else – hidden behind everyone’s perfect photos are toys strewn across the lounge floor, a baby throwing food across the room, poo explosions and exhausted, sleep deprived mummies.
So the main point of this post is that whether you’re finding yourself comparing your life to other mums on Instagram, like me, or at your local baby group, remember that no one’s life is picture perfect everyday. Some days as a Mum are blooming hard. In fact at the moment, in our house, there are more hard days than there are easy. For the past few days Rory has been clingy, grizzly and generally just absolutely exhausting! This is a massive shock to the system after having a reasonably happy, content, chilled out baby for the last few months. There are days where I get to the end of the day and I’m so grateful that it’s bed time, then the moment I put him down I feel so guilty that I’ve wished the time away! However, from the outside I probably look like I’m holding it together pretty well every day, even on the toughest ones!
My advice would be try to remember no one tells it exactly as it is, all babies (and mummies) have their hard days, talk to people and ask for help if you need it (you’ll find lots of people are going or have gone through exactly the same) and never forget that absolutely no one is perfect!!